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How to Measure Growth

read time 4 minutes

The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence.

And yet, I spent the first two days of July 2025 living the past—my past.

It wasn’t my choice, and I didn’t make the best of the situation. Not until I returned to the here, the now, and realized what a great teacher history is, if not the best teacher of all.

I raise the lid of my laptop, press “on,” and wait. And wait some more. Seconds feel like eternity. What eventually appears is the black screen of death. I do what all of us do in the year 2025.

I grab my phone.

First stop: Apple Store.

Second stop: Geek Squad.

Both “appointment only.”

The earliest available? Tuesday night. It’s Monday morning.

I swear. I sulk. I schedule. In that order.

After a restless night, I take the patient to MacLife. The diagnosis takes seconds. Cracked screen. Battery on borrowed time. When there is only one decision, there really isn’t a decision. A new laptop, and a new screen. If I tell you the total cost, I’ll start swearing. And I used my allotment of profanity for July, and the first two weeks of August, if I’m being honest.

The old and the new sit side by side in my home office. OK. It’s my only office. The migration is slow. It’s watching snails and turtles race 100 meters. In fact, 12 hours remain before they reach the finish line — that’s my laptops, not the snails and turtles. Both crawling toward a finish line built from the memory of what once worked and the hope of what will.

I begin the search for what to keep, what to delete. I start with videos. The years are 2021 and 2022.

I find the first, press play. The video begins. I cringe. I am on stage. I am speaking. I am mesmerized and horrified.

My first thought:

A thought later, I realize something more important.

If you’re not slightly embarrassed by your past work, you’re probably not evolving, not broadening.

But I have changed. I have developed. My speech, my cadence, and even the way my voice sounds are different. Drastically different. I’m awed by the transformation.

Still, I almost missed it.

Because, like so many high performers, I fall through the same trap door over and over again.

The Achiever's Mindset

It’s the belief that your worth is tethered to how much you do.​
How much you accomplish.​
How close you are to your ideal.

We live in a society that celebrates optimization, constantly reminding us of the road ahead, detours and dead-ends included.
How we can be faster, better, more successful, more productive.
But we’re not artificial intelligence. We are natural intelligence.

And that mindset? It’s exhausting.
It stalls, if not stymies, progress.
It steals satisfaction because the finish line vanishes before we reach it.

I’ve brought out the ruler more times than I care to admit.
I’ve caught myself measuring my identity by output.
My confidence is harbored on how far I still have to go.
My merit by how close I am to “peak performance.”

The math ain’t mathing, no matter how you calculate.

That’s The Gap.

Mental Lesson: The Gap and the Gain

Earlier this year, I read a book titled “The Gap and the Gain” by Dan Sullivan.

The concept is straightforward — but powerful.

We live in The Gap when we measure ourselves against who we wish we were.
The ideal.
The future version.
The escalator — and escalating — finish line.
That game can’t be beat if you play by their rules. Trust me. I’ve tried. More than once.

But when we shift to The Gain, we measure backwards, against who we used to be.
We track progress, not perfection.
We honor the growth, not the gap.

That’s what this laptop migration gave me.

A front-row center seat to the Gain.

To a version of me that showed up more courage, less craft.

That video I cringed at?
That was me doing the best I could with the tools I had.
This version?
Shiny tools.
Steady growth.
Same heart.

So if you ever doubt your progress, go back and press play.
Not to judge yourself, but to witness the gain.

That’s how you measure development.
Not by the future.
But from the past.
And who you are presently.

Next Rep: Reflect to Advance

Here’s your challenge:

Watch game film from a year ago.
Read an old excerpt of something you’ve written.
Look at an old stat line.

Then ask yourself:

• What did this version of me know?
• What didn’t I know yet?
• What have I learned since?

Now take it one step further:

Is it tied to playing time?
Perfection in your craft?
How quickly you hit a goal?

Name it.

Then rotate the lens 180 degrees:

That’s the real scoreboard.
That’s where The Gain begins.

Final Buzzer

Progress seldom shouts.
It’s not neon.
It lives in the last place you look, like misplaced car keys.

Growth backs in when you zoom out. Like realizing your jeans are looser before the scale budges, or noticing your confidence has grown only when you step back on stage and feel different. It's quiet, but it's there. When you press play on the past and see the distance between what you were and who you are.

You don’t need perfection to be proud.
You just need proof that it’s not 2021 anymore.

Stay in The Gain.
That’s where the best version of you resides.

Challenging you head-on and always in your corner,
​— Coach VJ

Upcoming Speaking Events:

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July 29 - Las Vegas, New Mexico
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Resources:

The Confidence Blueprint Online Course