Welcome to The Mental Arena, a newsletter where I share mental performance tools and pressure-tested insights to help you build confidence, strengthen your focus, and develop the mindset to win—in sport and life.

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The Curiosity Advantage

read time 5 minutes

I am a child, tiptoeing to the edge of the pool, convinced a shark lurks in the deep end.
I am a young woman, standing on the edge of the Pacific, staring into waters bluer than anything I’ve ever seen.
​
November 2010. Adams State women’s basketball. Destination: Hawaii.

Our first excursion? Snorkeling. My teammates sprint into the water, fins slicing the waves. I freeze. My fear has followed me from the pool to the ocean:

Water.
Deep. Open. Water.

But their laughter pulls me closer. It’s not bravery that moves me—it’s curiosity.

What has them so excited? What am I missing?

Curiosity stifles my fear. I leave the shallow waters. I venture into the deep, open ocean.

I reach my teammates. I submerge my face and head. A school of the most beautifully colored fish swims past. Butterfly fish. Yellow, black, white. I can’t keep track of all the colors. I’m enamored. I want to see all that this underwater world offers. Suddenly, a different fear engulfs me. I’m afraid I’ll miss something from this once-in-a-lifetime moment.

Minutes elapse before I break the surface. I re-adjust my goggles, my snorkel. I submerge my face underwater and instantly come back up, a bit startled.

Was that a . . .?

That memory resurrects to life as I’m sitting, thinking about how to begin The Curiosity Advantage. Then it washes over me like a wave from the ocean.

Mental Lesson: Curiosity Shift

Think about something you’ve feared: public speaking, making the team, risking rejection.

Fear’s job is to protect you. It pulls you away from danger. It blankets you in security. It shields you from harm. The problem? Fear doesn’t just protect you from danger — it can prevent you from growth.
​
It builds walls.

If you’ve been following The Mental Arena for a while, you’ve heard me talk about the Dead Zone before — that invisible space where fear convinces you it’s safer to pull back than to lean in.

Back then, I described it as the place where hesitation lives — the mental pause that keeps you from taking the shot, raising your hand, or speaking up.

It’s a place that feels protective, but in reality, it’s deceptive. It shields you from danger, yes — but it also shields you from growth.

The Dead Zone keeps you from discovering what’s possible. The longer you stay there, the more comfortable it feels, and the harder it becomes to break free. Which is why the antidote isn’t just courage — it’s curiosity. Curiosity pulls you out of the cocoon and back into The Arena.

Where fear says turn away, curiosity says look closer.
Where fear closes you, curiosity opens you.
Where fear locks the door, curiosity hands you the key.

Why Curiosity Works Under Pressure

Curiosity softens fear the same way light softens darkness. You can’t hold curiosity and judgment at the same time—it’s inherently non-judgmental.

When you’re curious:

• The moment stops being “good” or “bad.” It just is.
• You’re no longer in “fix-it” mode. You’re in “get-to-know-it” mode.
• You see mistakes as data, not death sentences.

Athletes who master curiosity can turn a missed shot, a bad call, or an off day into useful information. That’s a competitive edge fear can’t give you.

Arena Skill: Curiosity Under Pressure

In high-performance environments, fear’s job is to make you pull back. Curiosity’s job is to make you spring.

The problem is, most athletes default to judgment before they ever get curious.

• Why did I screw that up?
• What’s wrong with me?
• How could I blow that opportunity?

Judgment suppresses learning. Curiosity incites it.

Athletes who cultivate curiosity in the arena:

• Replace “What’s wrong?” with “What’s happening?”
• See mistakes as feedback, not finality.
• Look for patterns over time instead of obsessing over isolated outcomes.
• Stay present enough to explore, especially when emotions run high.

This is the difference between spiraling after an error and adjusting in the moment.

Between getting stuck in fear and moving toward the next opportunity.

Curiosity keeps you in motion—mentally and physically—because it keeps you asking better questions. And better questions tend to lead to better performance.

Curiosity at the Highest Level

Mikaela Shiffrin, Naomi Osaka, and Simone Biles all compete in arenas where mistakes are magnified in front of the world. And yet, they share a common trait that keeps them adaptable under pressure: they lead with curiosity.

Shiffrin treats every race as an experiment, studying frame-by-frame, not “Why did I mess up?” but “What exactly happened there?” Osaka uses curiosity as her in-match compass, asking what’s working and what’s off instead of dwelling on mistakes. And when Biles faced the “twisties,” she studied her fear—tuning into her body, testing adjustments, and rebuilding confidence from the inside out.

These athletes use curiosity to face their fear, understand it, and move through it. That’s the power of turning toward rather than pulling away. None of them escaped fear. They studied it.

Curiosity doesn’t guarantee the outcome, but it does sharpen the process. And when your process sharpens, so does your confidence.

Next Rep: Your Curiosity Training Plan

Curiosity is a performance skill. Train it like you would your footwork, your swing, or your conditioning:

The more you do this, the smaller fear and frustration become. You learn to replace it with curiosity, and that changes how you meet the moment.

Why These 3 Words Work​
When you use Interesting, Fascinating, or Ridiculous, you’re giving your brain an instant signal to shift gears.

• Interesting puts you in observer mode, you start noticing details instead of reacting emotionally.
• Fascinating adds an element of wonder—it makes the moment feel worth exploring.
• Ridiculous adds humor, which lowers tension and makes it easier to stay engaged rather than feeling frustrated.

Each word reframes the moment as something to observe instead of something to fear, be frustrated with, or resist. And when you frame it this way, your brain can shift from fight-or-flight into problem-solving mode—exactly where you want to be in high-performance situations.

Final Buzzer

Fear is reactive.
Curiosity is responsive.

Fear wants you to survive.
Curiosity helps you thrive.

Whether it’s a game, a performance review, a relationship, or a tough conversation—replace the reflex to avoid with the decision to explore.

Which is exactly what I did. I dive back underwater without hesitation, without trepidation. I blink once. Twice. It’s not a mirage. A three-foot-long green sea turtle glides through the water.

When we return to the hotel, I believe I possess enough courage to watch Jaws.

Your challenge the next two weeks:​
Pick one moment where fear usually wins. Replace it with a single question of curiosity.
See what changes.

Challenging you head-on and always in your corner,
​— Coach VJ

Thanks for reading. Your next issue of The Mental Arena drops September 2.

Coaches Corner:

I’m opening a 4-week cohort for coaches who want to build their knowledge and train their athletes on the mental game. I’ll teach you the exact frameworks, tools, and strategies I use with my clients.
​Limited to 12 spots. Starts September 8th.
​👉 Reply: Coaches Corner for more information.

Upcoming Speaking Events:

Am I coming to a city near you? Let me know!

​
August 29 - Thousand Oaks, California
September 3-4 - Orlando, Florida
September 25 - Las Vegas, New Mexico
October 15 - Pottsville, Pennsylvania
October 17 - Santa Fe, New Mexico
November 1 - Featherville, Idaho
November 26 - Rio Rancho, New Mexico
March 20-21 - Arlington, Virginia

Interested in bringing me in to speak to your team or organization?
​Request an event or shoot an email to support@mentalitysolutions.com to get on the schedule.

Resources:

The Confidence Blueprint Online Course